what's with these tv channels and the print magazines that seem to have run out of their creative juices of late ? Not that the juices had been overflowing in the first place... but the scene looks parched quite clearly... and it's quite disturbing no hyperbole that...
dont we deserve much better? one look around and it could be noticed that the media abounds in stories and features on either or almost all of the following, and the latter is more likely...
an annual states and CM's survey to begin with on a "serious" note and if the press wallah had the balls not to suck up to some political bigwig's derriere, a report card on the PM and extend it further, the Italian of the East too...
ten best towns to live in, ten big stocks to go in for, ten best shopping malls, ten best lingerie brands, and for me the ultimate annual farce--- the best MBA schools... as if the b-schools produce some ground breaking results in those twelve months that warrants a groundbreaking survey which have these schools fall down a few notches or rise up and raise the bar!!! what have we here? a column or two from the experts, get in an aspiring i-banker who is in the 0.001 of the cream after having been culled and chaffed from the lesser mortals, page or two on the occidental biggies and how we differ from them, and the yes that proposition that all this holy farce revolves around... placements and more placements... of day zeroes to PPOs... it's definitely not a case of sour grapes and good for the people who go through it... but the way our fourth estate goes on about it, with either TRPs on more circulation in its minds, drives me up the wall
the most powerful people, the most powerful people in the industry, the most powerful people in Bollywood... the usual suspects? an ambani here, a mittal there, a chopra here, a king khan there... throw in a Mazumdar, a Reddy, a Jain, a Nooyi for the balance... yes read on, in short well framed boxes adjoining the well framed photos, about their work ethics, their favorite cigar brand, their penchant for big wheels, if they like set curd or a loose one...
do a cover on a one film wonder only to be ripped apart later when the junta doesnt want to go ga ga anymore for they have found another wonder... what a blunder!!!
steam up the scene a bit... do the annual sex survey... tell us how we like to kiss our spouses... which side of the bed should we be waking up on to find our mates more appealing... bring in statistics from the surveys you have carried out in bhatinda, kanpur, jhansi, lucknow, asansole, bhilai, tirupur, alleppey, vijayawada, surat and shimla...tell us there has been a revolution of sorts in the years gone by, when we have become more open and have warmed ourselves to the idea of erotica in open and the age of coming out of the closets... tell us atleat 34% of the respondents wants its share of extramarital flings... tell us people are no more "shy" to ask for their strawberry flavored latex.. or is it vanilla? gothilla... then as a tail piece get an NGO to pen something on AIDS awareness and the need for sex education right from primary school level and carry out an opposing piece, all worthy of a debate, to balance it out... balance it out??? when all the titillation and sales factor is taken care of???? make no mistake, i am no prude, and for all my openness in the real sense of the word, I find it quite disgusting to take this pre-chewed-ill-packaged fare ... sorry I cant digest that
ok ok i forgot... the annual car survey... how we have moved on from our and the best source of nirvana in 1993, the Zen and are ready to lap up the maseratis, the endeavours, the camrys and the hummys... how Chunkey Pandey still likes his 95' Landcruiser and watch Upen Patel and Queeny Dhodie debate over whether automatic transmission or not? what to expect in the Fall '07 and '08 with all the letters in the English alphabet turning out to be insufficient to describe the mushrooming segements in cars... and ha yes ! how on earth could I forget Rajinder Puri with his piece on his first and beloved '800 and how he has had to be on the waiting list for aeons and among the first few to be handed over the keys by a certain Kapil Paaji...
give us all "the milestones of the decade", "the milestones of the millenium", " the red letter days".... get in all here again...through a lensman's eyes.... the freedom struggle , the hoisting of the flag on the ramparts of the red fort, the first annual budget, Appu'82, Lord's 83 and punch in the line "when david downed goliath", Maruti Udyog, Indira behinds the shades, Milkha Singh, P T Usha, a saffron clad NTR atop his Ratham and fighting for our aatmagauravam, the ushering of new age soft gloss ads of the 80s, , Ravi Shastri in the best of lankiness with his audi and irritatingly audible now, show the boost boy in his first roots and branches of moustache, still wet behind his ears gearing up to W & W....have P V Narasimha Rao and Manmohan Singh in a single frame and laud them for their liberal thoughts, the Sriperumbudur'91 massacre, the gargantuan barjatya monster HAHK with an olive green clad Dixit showing a well etched posterior to the devar deewana, walk us up through the streets of Bombay of '93 and remind us of the ghastly blasts... oh it's '98 now... tell us how a chubby lad with johar for a surname has "revolutionised the economics of Indian Cinema and changed its face forever", with his in-your-face Polos, DKNYs, cool bracelet offerings all the while have us chant Om Jai Jagadeesh Hare and Vandemataram, stoking our patriotic flame... oh it's also '98 now... time to get a little serious, balance it, right? show us a Kalam and Vajpayee in their red caps and battery of officials and scientists going nuclear,,, Buddha is definitely smiling... the dotcoming of age of the net in '00 and ever so cool hotmail Bhatia, ... it's '00 and '01 -- dish out a little on the booming sunrise sectors IT and ITES nah BPO for us... tell us the spending patterns and ever so burgeoning disposable incomes Pharma, you can wait... '02 ,yes we stand up to the shirt whirling dada in the balcony again... the years pass by... tell us about the real estate of Bangalore and Gurgaon and Noida and show us the best abodes money can buy in Amby Valleys and Puravankaras... or sorry reserve that for "the ten best homes you should see"
carry out a special on good things in life, we are so starved for them... the best perfumes, villas, sarongs, the hot haute, the pret-a-porter lines, the best of art(it's such an investment thing now) get in anjali ela menons and gujrals to talk art... the islands we shouldnt miss, the best of casinos...
it's time to get serious again... carry a special on money matters and how serious life insurance business is now... talk of investment options and the need for your child's secure future... tell us what the experts have to say... give us cosy pictures of couples and families from Ahmedabad, Hyderabad, Pune, Chennai, Cochin, Jamshedpur and tell us how they have sailed through their tough times... get in Mahesh Bhupathi, Suniel Shetty, Annu Mallieek, Gufi Paintal and have the experts in them tell us what to do and how they manage their finances or dont...
yes, those urban phenomena that come with a regularity of a Hailley's comet and change the face of the world as we know it... use juicy acronyms, DINK (Double Income No Kids) ABCD (American Born Confused Desis), KANK.. tell us the world is not the same after what they have told us... atleast not after KANK...
tell us about the feel good factor prevalent all over.... rehash the same stuff... old wine, older bottle... get Dr.Balasubramanian, Mahesh Bhatt, Shobhaa De in... also give us an insight of what Diya Mirza and Chunkey Pandey think of "the decline of communism in China and Russia and it's global implications"...
it's that time of the year again... get serious again... annual best colleges survey... quite earth shattering!!!
ok ok the best hits of the year so far... why? it's June, Joneses... the blockbuster time... tell us the hits so far and the misses so far.. tell what to expect in the coming months and how crores ride on such films... tell us what taran adarsh, amod mehra think of them... do a special on the "new breed of bollywood" and do wonderful boxes on choreographers, cinematographers, hotshot editors, and publicity designers... it's perfectly okay by us if it's not a serious article as long as the spice factor is taken care of, we can gulp it down...
matter for the mind?... what's that??? below the belt ... hmmm that's like it!
my intention is definitely not to sound cynical here but going by the trend and that which is unlikely to change, there's no choice... and I haven't dared getting into that dirty zone called TV channels and P3P and I better stop here...
"for those yearning for some good stuff there's always Reader's Digest na!!"
yes, my ultimate source of credibility and magical realism, of hope, of joy, of inspiration, of mega tonnes of laughter, of the connect, of the belief, of craziness, of LIFE and of again loads of laughter...Reader's Digest... I am afraid the rate at which it also is changing, it might cease to be...
and that's no good Final Condensation, Mr.Wallace
dont we deserve much better? one look around and it could be noticed that the media abounds in stories and features on either or almost all of the following, and the latter is more likely...
an annual states and CM's survey to begin with on a "serious" note and if the press wallah had the balls not to suck up to some political bigwig's derriere, a report card on the PM and extend it further, the Italian of the East too...
ten best towns to live in, ten big stocks to go in for, ten best shopping malls, ten best lingerie brands, and for me the ultimate annual farce--- the best MBA schools... as if the b-schools produce some ground breaking results in those twelve months that warrants a groundbreaking survey which have these schools fall down a few notches or rise up and raise the bar!!! what have we here? a column or two from the experts, get in an aspiring i-banker who is in the 0.001 of the cream after having been culled and chaffed from the lesser mortals, page or two on the occidental biggies and how we differ from them, and the yes that proposition that all this holy farce revolves around... placements and more placements... of day zeroes to PPOs... it's definitely not a case of sour grapes and good for the people who go through it... but the way our fourth estate goes on about it, with either TRPs on more circulation in its minds, drives me up the wall
the most powerful people, the most powerful people in the industry, the most powerful people in Bollywood... the usual suspects? an ambani here, a mittal there, a chopra here, a king khan there... throw in a Mazumdar, a Reddy, a Jain, a Nooyi for the balance... yes read on, in short well framed boxes adjoining the well framed photos, about their work ethics, their favorite cigar brand, their penchant for big wheels, if they like set curd or a loose one...
do a cover on a one film wonder only to be ripped apart later when the junta doesnt want to go ga ga anymore for they have found another wonder... what a blunder!!!
steam up the scene a bit... do the annual sex survey... tell us how we like to kiss our spouses... which side of the bed should we be waking up on to find our mates more appealing... bring in statistics from the surveys you have carried out in bhatinda, kanpur, jhansi, lucknow, asansole, bhilai, tirupur, alleppey, vijayawada, surat and shimla...tell us there has been a revolution of sorts in the years gone by, when we have become more open and have warmed ourselves to the idea of erotica in open and the age of coming out of the closets... tell us atleat 34% of the respondents wants its share of extramarital flings... tell us people are no more "shy" to ask for their strawberry flavored latex.. or is it vanilla? gothilla... then as a tail piece get an NGO to pen something on AIDS awareness and the need for sex education right from primary school level and carry out an opposing piece, all worthy of a debate, to balance it out... balance it out??? when all the titillation and sales factor is taken care of???? make no mistake, i am no prude, and for all my openness in the real sense of the word, I find it quite disgusting to take this pre-chewed-ill-packaged fare ... sorry I cant digest that
ok ok i forgot... the annual car survey... how we have moved on from our and the best source of nirvana in 1993, the Zen and are ready to lap up the maseratis, the endeavours, the camrys and the hummys... how Chunkey Pandey still likes his 95' Landcruiser and watch Upen Patel and Queeny Dhodie debate over whether automatic transmission or not? what to expect in the Fall '07 and '08 with all the letters in the English alphabet turning out to be insufficient to describe the mushrooming segements in cars... and ha yes ! how on earth could I forget Rajinder Puri with his piece on his first and beloved '800 and how he has had to be on the waiting list for aeons and among the first few to be handed over the keys by a certain Kapil Paaji...
give us all "the milestones of the decade", "the milestones of the millenium", " the red letter days".... get in all here again...through a lensman's eyes.... the freedom struggle , the hoisting of the flag on the ramparts of the red fort, the first annual budget, Appu'82, Lord's 83 and punch in the line "when david downed goliath", Maruti Udyog, Indira behinds the shades, Milkha Singh, P T Usha, a saffron clad NTR atop his Ratham and fighting for our aatmagauravam, the ushering of new age soft gloss ads of the 80s, , Ravi Shastri in the best of lankiness with his audi and irritatingly audible now, show the boost boy in his first roots and branches of moustache, still wet behind his ears gearing up to W & W....have P V Narasimha Rao and Manmohan Singh in a single frame and laud them for their liberal thoughts, the Sriperumbudur'91 massacre, the gargantuan barjatya monster HAHK with an olive green clad Dixit showing a well etched posterior to the devar deewana, walk us up through the streets of Bombay of '93 and remind us of the ghastly blasts... oh it's '98 now... tell us how a chubby lad with johar for a surname has "revolutionised the economics of Indian Cinema and changed its face forever", with his in-your-face Polos, DKNYs, cool bracelet offerings all the while have us chant Om Jai Jagadeesh Hare and Vandemataram, stoking our patriotic flame... oh it's also '98 now... time to get a little serious, balance it, right? show us a Kalam and Vajpayee in their red caps and battery of officials and scientists going nuclear,,, Buddha is definitely smiling... the dotcoming of age of the net in '00 and ever so cool hotmail Bhatia, ... it's '00 and '01 -- dish out a little on the booming sunrise sectors IT and ITES nah BPO for us... tell us the spending patterns and ever so burgeoning disposable incomes Pharma, you can wait... '02 ,yes we stand up to the shirt whirling dada in the balcony again... the years pass by... tell us about the real estate of Bangalore and Gurgaon and Noida and show us the best abodes money can buy in Amby Valleys and Puravankaras... or sorry reserve that for "the ten best homes you should see"
carry out a special on good things in life, we are so starved for them... the best perfumes, villas, sarongs, the hot haute, the pret-a-porter lines, the best of art(it's such an investment thing now) get in anjali ela menons and gujrals to talk art... the islands we shouldnt miss, the best of casinos...
it's time to get serious again... carry a special on money matters and how serious life insurance business is now... talk of investment options and the need for your child's secure future... tell us what the experts have to say... give us cosy pictures of couples and families from Ahmedabad, Hyderabad, Pune, Chennai, Cochin, Jamshedpur and tell us how they have sailed through their tough times... get in Mahesh Bhupathi, Suniel Shetty, Annu Mallieek, Gufi Paintal and have the experts in them tell us what to do and how they manage their finances or dont...
yes, those urban phenomena that come with a regularity of a Hailley's comet and change the face of the world as we know it... use juicy acronyms, DINK (Double Income No Kids) ABCD (American Born Confused Desis), KANK.. tell us the world is not the same after what they have told us... atleast not after KANK...
tell us about the feel good factor prevalent all over.... rehash the same stuff... old wine, older bottle... get Dr.Balasubramanian, Mahesh Bhatt, Shobhaa De in... also give us an insight of what Diya Mirza and Chunkey Pandey think of "the decline of communism in China and Russia and it's global implications"...
it's that time of the year again... get serious again... annual best colleges survey... quite earth shattering!!!
ok ok the best hits of the year so far... why? it's June, Joneses... the blockbuster time... tell us the hits so far and the misses so far.. tell what to expect in the coming months and how crores ride on such films... tell us what taran adarsh, amod mehra think of them... do a special on the "new breed of bollywood" and do wonderful boxes on choreographers, cinematographers, hotshot editors, and publicity designers... it's perfectly okay by us if it's not a serious article as long as the spice factor is taken care of, we can gulp it down...
matter for the mind?... what's that??? below the belt ... hmmm that's like it!
my intention is definitely not to sound cynical here but going by the trend and that which is unlikely to change, there's no choice... and I haven't dared getting into that dirty zone called TV channels and P3P and I better stop here...
"for those yearning for some good stuff there's always Reader's Digest na!!"
yes, my ultimate source of credibility and magical realism, of hope, of joy, of inspiration, of mega tonnes of laughter, of the connect, of the belief, of craziness, of LIFE and of again loads of laughter...Reader's Digest... I am afraid the rate at which it also is changing, it might cease to be...
and that's no good Final Condensation, Mr.Wallace
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