Monday, October 29, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Pre Marital Status?
In about two months' time, I will have walked up the aisle. I am scared to open this chapter, many claim will decide the course of rest of my life. I believe neither in prophecies nor probability. As I often say, whatever is bound to happen shall.
I pray I am bestowed with the power to retain my self in all times to come. More than that I sincerely pray I am empowered enough to respect her as she is, and let her be. Doomsday it shall be for my self, if she were to cut down on her dignity, respect, integrity, honor for my sake. I have adored her for all the afore mentioned qualities and I have adored for what she is. If I were to be asked, life is an individual's journey first and foremost. Rest follow. I don't mean to sound Objectivist. I hope this union of ours just enables her achieve whatever she aspires for, and whatever she dreams. I hope I am the facilitator and a mere facilitator. I hope I don't take this relation for granted, and I cross my heart I have never taken any. I absolutely do not mind if I were to be used as a platform, and if it were to happen I shall take pride in that. I hope I am the usher to the avenues and she doesn't miss out on any. I hope the wonderful times and the joy we have shared are not momentary. I hope there is no pre or post to this relation. I hope the wedding is just a joyous celebration, a mere sanction to many, and for many. I hope she doesn't have to give up on anything that she claims hers. People and resources. I hope the madness continues forever, for she is like any other friend to me. I am lying. She is much more than that. Christ forbid, if things turned sour she should know she is free to move away, and she knows that. I shall love her the way I have and will continue to with no iota of ill will whatsoever. I hope I am given strength to consider her aspirations as mine, and in her success, in her happiness shall lie mine. I consider individual to be supreme, and in no circumstance shall he/she lose that individuality. But again true love is one in which one forgets oneself. I hope I happily forget myself. I don't want her to be tagged to me. I don't want my name to be her identity. Let her carve her own niche. Let it be earth shattering, or let it be ghoulishly silent. The choice is hers. If she were to forsake me during her journey, I shall happily move aside. She knows that I shall cheer on sitting thousands of miles away. On my part though I commit myself to her. I have no idea what true love means and for me the phrase is a fallacy. I hope she garners enough courage, mental strength, to live her life with her chin up. I hope she is not answerable to anyone, not even me. I hope she just doesn't remain a role player. I hope she remains true to herself. I hope she grabs every opportunity that comes knocking at her doors, and contribute to her mental, physical, and spiritual growth. I hope she lives her life with the same elan with or without me. It is perfectly okay if she cannot set an example for others. It would be great if she could set one for herself. I sincerely hope she respects life for whatever it is in the truest sense, and make nothing, just about nothing larger than life.
Inshallah...
I still don't know what true love means, but I know I love her.
I pray I am bestowed with the power to retain my self in all times to come. More than that I sincerely pray I am empowered enough to respect her as she is, and let her be. Doomsday it shall be for my self, if she were to cut down on her dignity, respect, integrity, honor for my sake. I have adored her for all the afore mentioned qualities and I have adored for what she is. If I were to be asked, life is an individual's journey first and foremost. Rest follow. I don't mean to sound Objectivist. I hope this union of ours just enables her achieve whatever she aspires for, and whatever she dreams. I hope I am the facilitator and a mere facilitator. I hope I don't take this relation for granted, and I cross my heart I have never taken any. I absolutely do not mind if I were to be used as a platform, and if it were to happen I shall take pride in that. I hope I am the usher to the avenues and she doesn't miss out on any. I hope the wonderful times and the joy we have shared are not momentary. I hope there is no pre or post to this relation. I hope the wedding is just a joyous celebration, a mere sanction to many, and for many. I hope she doesn't have to give up on anything that she claims hers. People and resources. I hope the madness continues forever, for she is like any other friend to me. I am lying. She is much more than that. Christ forbid, if things turned sour she should know she is free to move away, and she knows that. I shall love her the way I have and will continue to with no iota of ill will whatsoever. I hope I am given strength to consider her aspirations as mine, and in her success, in her happiness shall lie mine. I consider individual to be supreme, and in no circumstance shall he/she lose that individuality. But again true love is one in which one forgets oneself. I hope I happily forget myself. I don't want her to be tagged to me. I don't want my name to be her identity. Let her carve her own niche. Let it be earth shattering, or let it be ghoulishly silent. The choice is hers. If she were to forsake me during her journey, I shall happily move aside. She knows that I shall cheer on sitting thousands of miles away. On my part though I commit myself to her. I have no idea what true love means and for me the phrase is a fallacy. I hope she garners enough courage, mental strength, to live her life with her chin up. I hope she is not answerable to anyone, not even me. I hope she just doesn't remain a role player. I hope she remains true to herself. I hope she grabs every opportunity that comes knocking at her doors, and contribute to her mental, physical, and spiritual growth. I hope she lives her life with the same elan with or without me. It is perfectly okay if she cannot set an example for others. It would be great if she could set one for herself. I sincerely hope she respects life for whatever it is in the truest sense, and make nothing, just about nothing larger than life.
Inshallah...
I still don't know what true love means, but I know I love her.
Right now?
My current train of thoughts which in fact is sort of a continuum and of sorts from the past begs that question. If it were not for the self-admittedly lazy bones, I should have penned mine a while ago. Long ago. Knowing myself it wouldn't materialise ever, if the seeds aren't sown now. The wherewithals are there, I realise. I hope I get to do myself a favor this one time and go about it. I care two hoots if all this were to sound a little vainglorious on my part. If not for anyone else, I have to do it for myself. As someone claimed I have to be a voyeur yet again to my inner self, surprisingly cloaked for a while.
It is about time I surprised myself big big time.
It is about time.
It is about time I surprised myself big big time.
It is about time.
Wholeheartedly
, how I wish, the '98 "ahead-of-its-times" classic were released today.
I can't imagine the effect this wonder would have now on 70mm.
A scissor here, a two there. A perfect run through the Digital Intermediate for the sheen. Just to the right level.
That's about it. Add nothing, take away nothing. Let the passion and the insanity be unbridled.
Let the engines roll all over again. Let Ms. Arora Khan sway yet again to Gulzar's chaste Urdu atop the moving inferno. Let Guy Pratt, Keith Peters, John Themis cut loose.
Let H.Sridhar, S.Sivakumar and Yak Bondy's work in the studios be an exercise in revision for those who seek. Let Samir Chanda teach design again. Let M. G. Sreekumar utter those at-first-incomprehensible malayalam lines yet again, with the nightingale for support. Let Pia Benegal and Manish Malhotra smile smugly at their line of work.
Let Shaad Ali not mind assisting again. Let Meeta Vasisht, Ken Philip, Zohra Sehgal, Arundhati Rao, Aditya Shrivastav, and Piyush Mishra get theatric for one more time.
Let Ms.Zinta shoot "Are you a virgin"? with the same dimpled charm.
Let the Southern Railways take credit and be a part of one of the more arresting cinematic experiences on the silver screen in decades.
Let the Programme Executive from the All India Radio be on a run again.
Let Connaught Place, and the vintage Delhi be visited again.
Let Tigmanshu Dhulia be known not just for his Star Best Sellers, or a Haasil, or a Charas.
Let Shekhar Kapur and Ram Gopal Varma feel proud of India Talkies again.
Let Rahmania be succumbed to again.
Let Santosh Sivan's wizardry on Super 35s, Arri 535s, akelas, jimmy jibs be a small lesson in mechanics, physics, co-ordinates and aesthetics to the current wannabes.
Let the master be visited again.
I can't imagine the effect this wonder would have now on 70mm.
A scissor here, a two there. A perfect run through the Digital Intermediate for the sheen. Just to the right level.
That's about it. Add nothing, take away nothing. Let the passion and the insanity be unbridled.
Let the engines roll all over again. Let Ms. Arora Khan sway yet again to Gulzar's chaste Urdu atop the moving inferno. Let Guy Pratt, Keith Peters, John Themis cut loose.
Let H.Sridhar, S.Sivakumar and Yak Bondy's work in the studios be an exercise in revision for those who seek. Let Samir Chanda teach design again. Let M. G. Sreekumar utter those at-first-incomprehensible malayalam lines yet again, with the nightingale for support. Let Pia Benegal and Manish Malhotra smile smugly at their line of work.
Let Shaad Ali not mind assisting again. Let Meeta Vasisht, Ken Philip, Zohra Sehgal, Arundhati Rao, Aditya Shrivastav, and Piyush Mishra get theatric for one more time.
Let Ms.Zinta shoot "Are you a virgin"? with the same dimpled charm.
Let the Southern Railways take credit and be a part of one of the more arresting cinematic experiences on the silver screen in decades.
Let the Programme Executive from the All India Radio be on a run again.
Let Connaught Place, and the vintage Delhi be visited again.
Let Tigmanshu Dhulia be known not just for his Star Best Sellers, or a Haasil, or a Charas.
Let Shekhar Kapur and Ram Gopal Varma feel proud of India Talkies again.
Let Rahmania be succumbed to again.
Let Santosh Sivan's wizardry on Super 35s, Arri 535s, akelas, jimmy jibs be a small lesson in mechanics, physics, co-ordinates and aesthetics to the current wannabes.
Let the master be visited again.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
TheeK
...hai, bilkul! achha lagta hai jab kisi ka pehchan woh naam ho jo bachpan mein aam hua karta tha. Aise log kam they jo mujhe mere asli naam se pukarte. Yeh badappan nahi hoga ke mujhe jinhone padhaaya vey bhi isi tarah se bulaate aur main ho jaata "haan ji!" aadat si ho gayi thi, aur yeh chala dus saal tak. Zindagi aage badhi. naam pukarne ke tareeke bhi kuch aise hee badle. Koi yeh kehta tho koi woh, par jab tak dhang sahi tha sab theek tha.
Phir ek aisa samay aaya jab mera jo asli naam tha, woh kissi dhang se ubhra aur yeh kuch jacha nahi mujhe. Phir bhi kya karta, naam tha wah mera. Sahna padha. Shikayat thodi kar sakta. Par sahi mein jacha nahi.
Aur aisa bhi ek naam aaya jo mera kiya karaya tha. Agar main apne alavaa aur kissi ko doshi maanta tho woh hota saala Paritosh, ek aisa kaalpanik bhooth jisse maine hi paida kiya.
Yeh jo daur hai, yeh sahi hai. Duniya gol hai. Ab log mujhe phir se wahi paarivarik naam se bulaate hain jisse sunne mein koi ajeeb sa achhapan mehsoos karta hoon.
Laghu hai, par sahi hai.
Woh kehte hain na, Life has come a full circle.
Achha lagta hai :)
Phir ek aisa samay aaya jab mera jo asli naam tha, woh kissi dhang se ubhra aur yeh kuch jacha nahi mujhe. Phir bhi kya karta, naam tha wah mera. Sahna padha. Shikayat thodi kar sakta. Par sahi mein jacha nahi.
Aur aisa bhi ek naam aaya jo mera kiya karaya tha. Agar main apne alavaa aur kissi ko doshi maanta tho woh hota saala Paritosh, ek aisa kaalpanik bhooth jisse maine hi paida kiya.
Yeh jo daur hai, yeh sahi hai. Duniya gol hai. Ab log mujhe phir se wahi paarivarik naam se bulaate hain jisse sunne mein koi ajeeb sa achhapan mehsoos karta hoon.
Laghu hai, par sahi hai.
Woh kehte hain na, Life has come a full circle.
Achha lagta hai :)
Monday, October 15, 2007
Kissa KJo Ka
I admit I haven't been charitable in my words about his work in the past, and if one were to think that I have changed, well I haven't. But surely I have become more tolerant.
I have always been tolerant and I can claim tolerance has been one of my few virtues. I might not agree with you but then I am tolerant, and respectfully tolerant. I have had nothing against him personally, and I see no reason to have any. But I did bark majorly against his oeuvre which was hailed as the next best thing to have happened after the invention of wheel. Today from what I see of him, and I read about him I sense there's that demon catching up. The demon which is spelt as S-E-N-I-L-I-T-Y. Good or bad, I feel there is a place for him. There's a place for everyone. Everyone is allowed a few false moves during his baby steps. He has had his chance. I have a feeling if he were to only use his clout that he enjoys in a much better fashion he could probably end up walking up the red carpet one day. I don't expect him to change at all, and that would be a crime. He better be what he is now. He is a fine example. I must admire his guts, his apparent belief in his convictions. I must say he has his balls at the right place.
Finally, I might agree with him seldom, but I am getting increasingly tolerant.
je vous remercie...
I have always been tolerant and I can claim tolerance has been one of my few virtues. I might not agree with you but then I am tolerant, and respectfully tolerant. I have had nothing against him personally, and I see no reason to have any. But I did bark majorly against his oeuvre which was hailed as the next best thing to have happened after the invention of wheel. Today from what I see of him, and I read about him I sense there's that demon catching up. The demon which is spelt as S-E-N-I-L-I-T-Y. Good or bad, I feel there is a place for him. There's a place for everyone. Everyone is allowed a few false moves during his baby steps. He has had his chance. I have a feeling if he were to only use his clout that he enjoys in a much better fashion he could probably end up walking up the red carpet one day. I don't expect him to change at all, and that would be a crime. He better be what he is now. He is a fine example. I must admire his guts, his apparent belief in his convictions. I must say he has his balls at the right place.
Finally, I might agree with him seldom, but I am getting increasingly tolerant.
je vous remercie...
Envi Sage...
...I couldn't, that one day I would be just a call away from him. I and only I know what I have gone through to get in touch with him. He was my buddy from my fourth standard through the seventh, a period which was truly defined by innocence, and innocence in its rawest form. Not any of the current maturity that weighs us down; those were the days spent in absolute abandon. He left for Calcutta in the summer of '94. We did keep in touch with each other over snail mails. Descriptive , extremely. I would read out his mails to the entire class proudly showing off the recipient's address. I have come across many a dude after that, I agree; in fact people who I hit off very well with. Somewhere my heart craved him, and as I said only I know how desperate I was. I knew he would be doing good for himself somewhere and wholeheartedly I wished him the very best. 13th of June'96 was the last time I spoke to him.
Time flew by. While at my official chores during one of those beautiful GE John.F.Welch TC, Bangalore days of '06, I googled his name. I don't know what struck me then. I still don't. I was throwing a stone in the dark. The first hit I chanced upon threw his webpage. Was it him? I did take a chance though. Plucked out the e-mail ID out of the page and I quote the letter I wrote, almost verbatim.
Hello,
Hi to you if this is the Rishi I knew from K V Picket from Karaikudi. If not, heck, still a hi to you, and you have a wonderful day.
Regards,
T K
Not sure as to whether he would reply I was lost in my quotidian aspects only to be given a jolt the following morning.
Inbox (1) Re: Hello!!!
I can't get myself to describe what transpired after that, it's kind of beyond words.
Now I speak to him often. Tough to believe. Tough because he was the same guy who I tried to get through to, resorting to things crazy. His father was a senior man in the LIC of India, and I wont deny that the thought of knocking at the doors of LIC headquarters did occur to me.
He went to IIT Madras to pursue his BTech and currently is at Purdue for his MS, and a PhD. I have invited him to my wedding and when he shows up in January '08, it will have been full fourteen years.
God bless Rishi.
Today all I know is he is just a call away...
Time flew by. While at my official chores during one of those beautiful GE John.F.Welch TC, Bangalore days of '06, I googled his name. I don't know what struck me then. I still don't. I was throwing a stone in the dark. The first hit I chanced upon threw his webpage. Was it him? I did take a chance though. Plucked out the e-mail ID out of the page and I quote the letter I wrote, almost verbatim.
Hello,
Hi to you if this is the Rishi I knew from K V Picket from Karaikudi. If not, heck, still a hi to you, and you have a wonderful day.
Regards,
T K
Not sure as to whether he would reply I was lost in my quotidian aspects only to be given a jolt the following morning.
Inbox (1) Re: Hello!!!
I can't get myself to describe what transpired after that, it's kind of beyond words.
Now I speak to him often. Tough to believe. Tough because he was the same guy who I tried to get through to, resorting to things crazy. His father was a senior man in the LIC of India, and I wont deny that the thought of knocking at the doors of LIC headquarters did occur to me.
He went to IIT Madras to pursue his BTech and currently is at Purdue for his MS, and a PhD. I have invited him to my wedding and when he shows up in January '08, it will have been full fourteen years.
God bless Rishi.
Today all I know is he is just a call away...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)